Some of us always seem to end up solving other peoples’ problems. It can be anything from petty everyday issues to helping someone make on of life’s big decisions. We are the ones others turn to when they want something. I’m not just talking about your kids phoning asking for help, it’s EVERYONE. If you are one of these people you know that you have been a problem solver for everyone ranging from your boss, your colleagues, your friends, associates and even complete strangers. Some of us seem to end up being the perpetual helper and I know I am one of these people. So why do we do it? Maybe we have got “sucker” or “push over” written on our face, but I think it would fundamentally come down to our caring nature. Caring people like to help others out, which is fine in small, reasonable amounts. But as I have learnt, there are several reasons why it is not advisable to get involved in solving other people’s problems.
1. People rely on you
This can make us feel needed and important, but what about when you really don’t have the time or the means to help out? This only puts extra pressure on you and increases your stress levels.
2. You will end up never having time for yourself
You might be able to solve others’ problems, but how is your own life looking? Sometimes you spend so much time focusing on others your own life can take a back seat, and this should not be the case.
3 You rarely get any thanks
Often as the person people turn to for help, it’s just taken as a given that you will be able to resolve whatever issue is thrown your way without question. People end up taking you for granted, and consequently rarely thank you for solving their problems.
4. Resolving mundane issues will not leave you with that warm fuzzy feeling
Helping out at a charity event or volunteering your time for a cause you are passionate about will leave you feeling great and glowing with that “warm fuzzy feeling” of having done a good deed. Getting bogged down in helping others deal with routine mundane issues will not. Ask yourself “will doing this particular task make me feel good about myself? Unless you absolutely have to (this means you are employed and getting paid as compensation for your efforts!) don’t do it unless you answered “yes” to the previous question.
5. Don’t get involved…you don’t need to be!
Sometimes you might overhear a conversation and think “I know how to fix that” or “I know the best website for information regarding that problem”. You aren’t even involved, but somehow you end up getting yourself involved and offering your assistance anyway, simply because you have potential solutions. You have enough of your own problems, without getting involved with others. Let people figure things out for themselves, in their own way.
The helpful people of the world are overlooked and underrated. Your own happiness is not going to be improved by involving yourself in other’s problems. When you feel tempted to problem solve for others, simply remember that it’s not your problem, let others find their own solutions, and get on with living your own life!